Okay, I feel really cheated. My beloved thinking place (AKA the family van, or the MONSTER, because of it's mismatched Frankenstein parts; fender, door, ect.) was junked yesterday, so its parts could be used for this other van we got. My mom had suggested taking out the engine and the bucket seats, and letting it be my bedroom, because it's parked pretty close to the house and I LOVE it, plus my current bedroom is a section of an attic separated from my cramped siblings by a bookshelf-type thing. Getting me outta there would be good for me AND them. Unfortunately, I was told about this WAY to late, and now I get to stay in that chlostrophobic little upstairs cubicle until we get to drag ourselves away from town... oh well, at least I get to keep the back seat (or the bed) in my room, and still have the door handles and license plate. I dunno why I loved the van so much. I just DID.
I missed out on paradice.


Im feeling nostalgic (I just used Isolated for my emoticon, because GOD FORBID they let you make your own.)I miss my friends in Utah... yeah, I still have their Emails, but a computer screen cant talk back to you. plus they aren't allowed to talk anymore. We've drifted. I sometimes wonder if they miss each other or miss me at all. Ive heard from them... they both have big things going for them, and all I seem to have is confusion and negativity. I won't replace them, and I hope its likewise, but I will never know if anyone is ever a true friend. Sure, I hold what I have sacred, and though I show only my callous side, I'm tearing myself apart.

My parents say it's normal teenage angst, and Im overly Dramatic.
Naiive they are that this is actually the way I feel.

this is an experiment. Take what I wrote, copy it into your journal, and after you read this, write about TWO or more major goings-on in your life. I wanna see what we're all doing at this exact point in time.